Ms. Bachynski’s Grade Two Class Story

I think people will be quite surprised with the twist in the story…

© Andrew Bacchus www.streetecology.com/

© Andrew Bacchus        www.streetecology.com

 

Once there was a cat named James. He had fluffly orange fur, floppy ears, and brown eyes. One day around lunch time, he decided to go hunting for a mouse. He left Ronald Harvey Cat School and pranced into the sunny, summer day.

The bright sunshine made his fur hot. James wandered around. Suddenly, he saw a mouse! It was tiny, with white striped fur, and a short tail. James raced after it.

The mouse hurried under a red motorcycle. James ran on top of the motorcycle. He took a spot on the seat and waited for the mouse to come out. After five minutes, James reached for an old, bumpy stick that was beside the bike. He poked around the black pavement to distract the mouse.

When it scampered out, James grabbed it with his claws.  He didn’t want to see its eyes, so he flipped it around, hoping it would faint.

Instead, the mouse got free and sped away to the smoothie store. James chased after it and quickly snatched up the mouse.

“Don’t eat me,” squeaked the mouse.

“Why not?” asked James.

“Because I’m your best friend!” yelled the mouse.

“Are you Thomisina?” questioned James.

“Yes. You didn’t recognize me because my fur changed colour,” Thomisina screeched.

They hugged each other for a long time.

“I can’t eat my best friend,” explained James. “Though I’m still hungry and with all that chasing, I’m thirsty, now,” James announced.

“Why don’t we get a burger and a smoothie?” suggested Thomisina.

So, that’s exactly what they did and headed to Mr. Papa Burger Restaurant.

****

Take a look at a partial list of the edits–this is what the story originally looked like. An amazing job with edits, don’t you think?

  • They gave the school an actual name
  • They told us exactly what James’ fur looked like
  • They used exciting dialog tags like “explained” and “screeched”

 

Raccoons On The Move

freeimage-3222825One day, three little raccoons named Junior Ricky and Rosie were walking home when they smelled some tasty honey. They decided to follow the scent the sweet smell of the honey led them to a big, dark cave.

The raccoons ran into the cave and scattered in three different directions to look for the honey.

Rocky scurried to a large dark lump. The smell of honey was strongest there. Rocky was really excited. His eyes went wide and his whole body tingled! He opened his mouth as wide as it could go and took a big bite of bear! Oh No! It wasn’t honey at all! Rocky got a mouthful of gross, furry, fuzzy, dry bear hair!

Joe the bear jerked awake. ”What the heck just happened? Who are you, why are you here, and why are you biting me?”

“I thought you were a big lump of honey,” squeaked Rocky in a high scared voice. Then he turned and ran to the middle of the cave, calling for his siblings. “Junior! Rosie! We have to get out of here. I accidentally bit a bear and now he’s going to eats us!”

“I’m sorry you think that way but I’m not going to eat you!” said the bear sleepily.

“You’re lying! You are going to eat us!” said Rocky.

Joe opened his mouth in a big yawn. Rocky yelled, “Run! He’s going to eat us!”

“No!” said Joe. “I was just yawning. You woke me up and I’m still sleepy.”

Rocky and his siblings ran out of the cave, looking for a small place to hide where the bear couldn’t get them. They ran for the forest but as they were crossing the street, they tripped and fell into a sewer.

“Oh no!” said Rosie, “the bear is coming to eat us!”

“No I’m not,” said Joe. Instead, he pulled them out.

The four animals went back to Joe’s cave where they ate honey and became friends.

Hide and Seek Problems by 2A students from École Father Jan

Hide and Seek Problems

Once upon a time, three little raccoons named Carter, Lisa, and Rocky decided to play hide and go seek. “Don’t go too far and come back at 7:30pm for supper,” said their mom.

They ran out into the sunny day to look for their friends, Rebecca and Bob. They found their friends in a wheat field. “Do you want to play hide and seek with us?” asked Carter. “For sure!” Rebecca’s whiskers shook with excitement.

The five raccoons ran to a street with lots of trees. Carter counted to twenty while his friends hid. Rocky went to hide in a large trash can. Bob, Lisa and Rebecca scampered to a sewer opening. They crawled in between the grill, wriggling and squashing their fury bodies to get inside. Then they waited. “Oh my gosh, what a great hiding place”, said Lisa. They waited half hour before they realized that their hiding spot was so good, no one could find them! It was starting to get dark.

“We have to get out of here,” said Bob, who was afraid. They tried to get out of the sewer but they were stuck! The little raccoons began to cry. It was almost time for dinner – it was 7:15pm.

Meanwhile, Rocky and Carter went to their moms and told them what happened. Then the mommies came to help search for them. They found them at the sewer, crying. The mommies hooked the raccoons under their arms and pulled them out.

They all went home and ate supper together. Then they went to bed.

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Ms. Kaptein-Miller’s Grade Two Class Story

The cool thing about this story isn’t just the story itself, but that readers get a chance to see some of the editing process that the grade Twos did in order to make their story the best it could be. (The highlighted words were discussed/changed so that the most descriptive one was used).

As a reader, I really appreciate it when writers take their time and work hard to give me an amazing story–thanks so much, Grade Twos!

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Grade2.KM.4Grade2.KM.5

Neil M. Ross – Mrs. Riemann’s Grade Two Class Story

The Fight of Jack and Jamie for the Magic Carrot

One hot, summer day a superhero hamster named Jamie flew to China. She had to save a hat store from a super villain named Jack. He liked to look fancy and he had one hundred heads. So Jack liked to wear all kinds of hats. He loved top hats and DC hats and cowboy hats. Plus, he liked money. So he was going to steal the store’s hats and money. Cha-ching!

Jamie landed on the busy street in the town. She ran into the crowded store and grabbed Jack by his short, chubby arm. She lifted him above her head and said, “Stop stealing!”

“Mwahahahaha!” laughed Jack. “It’s you who should surrender or die!” Then he pulled the freeze ray from his jacket pocket and turned her to ice!

Jack climbed down and chipped away the ice by Jamie’s pocket. Then he reached inside and stole one of her special, super-power-giving carrots. This carrot was orange with a million black glittering lines on it. Plus, it made a high boing-boing noise.

Jamie used her laser vision to bore a hole in the ice and zapped the carrot from his fingers. Then she used her lasers to free herself. Jamie grabbed for the carrot, but Jack got it first. But then Jack dropped it! Jamie grabbed the carrot and devoured it!

“You know,” said Jack. “I am never going to win, so I may as well join you.”

“I don’t want to fight you either. You’ll be my side-kick and I’ll be your master.”

Then Jamie gave Jack a super-power-giving carrot and he never stole again.

The End