The Morning Show Circuit

This morning I was up early to go on the Edmonton morning news to tell people about the EPL and the Writer-in-Residence program. Hopefully some people saw me and now know a little bit more about me and might think about sending me an email or giving me a call to help out with their writing this year.

In a moment of extreme hubris I mentioned to the people at CTV Morning Live that I could write a short story about them during the time that I was waiting to go on air in the green room.

They accepted my challenge and I read the story in front of them on live television. A story I had just written minutes prior. I think it went over pretty well. See, that’s the thing about writing- it doesn’t always have to be such a serious endeavor. Sometimes you can just use your skills to get a rise out of people and to bring a smile to some faces.

Here’s what I came up with. Who knows, maybe CTV Morning Live Edmonton fan-fiction will become a big thing.


It was yet another frosty January morning in Edmonton and the people of the city were still in their warm beds and hitting their snooze buttons for the second, third, and maybe even fourth times. While the city was just starting to wake up, the members of the CTV Morning Live team had been at work for hours, preparing to inform and entertain their viewers.

Stacey Brotzel is staring into her dressing room mirror. She is calm and relaxed and her golden hair is as bright and vibrant as a prairie sunrise. She is preparing for the morning’s show. She looks into the mirror and practices saying the word “Chutney” over and over. “Chutney…Chutney…What exactly is Chutney?” Stacey Brotzel wonders. “Is it like marmalade? What exactly is marmalade? I think it’s made from oranges…”. Just then a producer knocks on the door.

“5 minutes Ms. Brotzel.”

“Thank you Chutney- I mean marmalade- I mean Mike.”

In another part of the CTV studios Jess Beyer is combing his hair. He is counting the strokes:

“997, 998, 999…”

“4 minutes Mr. Beyer.”

“4- Now I’ve lost count!”

Outside in the parking lot Rob Williams is sitting in his car, eating his birthday cupcakes and listening to Adele’s ‘Someone Like You’. A producer waves to him from the window. 3 minutes.

Rob Williams wipes the red velvet from the corners of his mouth.

In a secluded corner of the CTV studios, a producer is unplugging Kimberly Wynn from her charging station. Her battery is at 100% charge. The producer sets Kimberly’s Smile setting up to 10. She sets her Charm setting to 10. She sets her Effervescent setting to 10.

2 minutes ‘til showtime.

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